Running On Empty

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Have you ever been physically, mentally and spiritually on E? Im drained beyond me right about now I’ve been up 24+ hours on the road for 18+ hours and only God knows how long we will be at this hospital. You ever prayed and cried till you couldn’t no more. It’s funny how life goes and how forgiveness works. I always talk my mess but my folks know its because I got a heart of gold pluuusss I’m the babygirl out of all our daddy kids 😌. All of us and our daddy had our times but we’re all in good standing and they choose to fall apart now when siblings need each other the most. When I say they’ve drained everything out of me with their foolishness and I’m not even there yet but I have nothing left to give at this point it every man for himself my daddy on life support and they ass arguing and acting a fool. Its no surprise we’ve already said when something was to happen all hell would break loose but I feel like because all of us are grown and really need each others love right now it’ll be different but who paid me to think. Im just ready to get to the hospital make my peace and comfort my mother. My sister, the boys, and was just on video chat with him a few days ago and he was fine even though he has been in and out the hospital all year he had just got out we was joking and laughing now we’re headed to see him basically lifeless 😢. We’ve taken so many close hits from 2011 till now and I just dont feel I’ll ever be prepared enough for tragedy. I see now why God shifted my birthday plans to me just spending time on Florida versus going to South Carolina (I’ll eventually get there to Relentless) it was because God wanted me to take that time and just enjoy my daddy even though he was in the hospital we still cut up it’s only right no matter where we are we have to stay laughing. New family me please 😂 joking.