BOOK REVIEW: In the Meantime…

Iyanla touches on some very essential points in this first chapter. She increases our awareness of love asserting that life is nothing but a search for love. God is love so we are looking for God yet cannot deal with such an overwhelming realization. Instead, we search for love in people, which ends up being our best opportunity to share and express the love that we find from God.

Mrs. Vanzant provides an outline of how love has presented itself in our lives. She mentions that our birth process and the surrounding environment create the foundation of our overall understanding of what love is and how we will behave in response to it. Some of us are passive, others are aggressive. Neither of these responses are overly positive in nature as aggression is often outwardly harmful while being passive often is self-destructive.

Chapter One of In the Meantime suggests that we should shift from this manner of responses to a receptive/active role in our loving relationships. We should be the love we seek. We should bring love to the relationships with us and should find that the experience only enhances what we already are. Love should never be an experience that takes away from either individual. There should be more unconditional acceptance in such relationships as is brought about by communication, honesty and values such as purpose, dignity and even excitement!

Our meantime experiences are uniquely designed to help us clear out our personal baggage. We love in others what we love in ourselves and despise in them what we despise in ourselves. Again, we should be the love we seek. The persons that we love romantically should be reflection of our true selves. They are a representation of who we are, even our better selves or who we aspire to be.

I read somewhere recently that because of the undeniable spiritual connections created during intimate experiences, we should not entertain intimate situations with anyone unless we want to be that person. Pause. Think about this. I’ll give you a few moments more. Stop. Really stop and think about this…

Reflect on who you are, who you’ve been with and then think on who you want to be. Would the result drastically change the life you have created for yourself by way of your sexual/intimate engagements? Who are we defining ourselves as based on the people we are intimate with? I daresay some of you might quit being intimate completely if your sexual partners had to be persons you desire to become. *chuckle, chuckle*

Iyanla’s words are pivotal. This chapter provides us with definitions that tell us if we are currently in the meantime, tips on how to respond to the meantime experience and fundamental pointers on how to relieve conflict and turmoil within loving relationships. Just reading these tidbits has me feeling a bit more clever! Once I put these things into action, I’ll be well on my way toward more healthy experiences in LOVE!!! Awwwwww…

By the way, Iyanla says each of our relationships is exactly where we need to be at that time so don’t fret–we learn something from them all. The meantime is as much a protective arrangement as it is a reflective one. Remembering that, take some time to reflect on the enlightenment and enjoy your journey in the meantime. 🙂

– @Sh_Speaks www.ShSpeaks.com