GIRLFRIEND!! Let’s face it—relationships are hard! I sometimes affectionately call them relationsh%*s!
Basically, as we learn and grow, so too should our relationships. Just like we drift away from former friends as we grow our separate ways, we should also be drifting far away from our former selves!
If everything around us is changing, how can we possibly stay the same? It’s always said that if you want something you have never had, you have to do things you have never done. I want(ed) a husband. That’s exactly how I handle(d) my relationship. I don’t want a boyfriend, so why should I behave like a girlfriend? (I don’t even want him to call me girlfriend or think of me that way. Excuse my pride, but I’m too grown for that. Girlfriend is honestly beneath me at this point in life, but that’s just me!)
Anywho, I have to do better if I expect my “husband” to do better. This is tough because it takes humility beyond what we have ever experienced. Interestingly enough, we’ll find that we’re not battling the ego of another–we are fighting against many years of self-respect and pride that we have worked so hard to acquire!!! As non-traditional women, we have been cultured not to take any man’s (or ANYBODY’s) sh%#!!! Now, we have reached a stage in our love lives where we have to include our own BS in that exclusionary rule!!! Pressure is not on him…it’s on US…to be the best WOMEN we can be.
Our goal, as it relates to the relationship, is to become the exemplification of what we think a good WIFE should be.
NOTE that I say WIFE here as opposed to woman—I could show myself as a woman to any stranger on the street, but for him, my aim is wife, which is entirely different from mother (another note). I am not here to take care of him (as a mother), but I am here to care for him (as a wife).
Caring takes patience, respect and humility—none of which have to be descriptions of a mother. A mother can do as she pleases to her child without patience, respect OR humility, so we are charged with a different mission (as the “other” most-important-woman-in-his-whole-wide-universe!).
BUT…before we can do any of this for him…we must first be patient with ourselves. Respect the transformation that is occurring and humble ourselves to changes that will prepare us for a bright future with new love.
– @Sh_Speaks of www.ShSpeaks.com. Original Post can be found HERE